My new book

Many of you know that I just graduated with my bachelor's degree in psychology. I want to study psychology on a graduate level. Regardless of whether or not a graduate school lets me in it not, I will keep studying and learning because psychology is more than a degree, check-marks on a page to get a paper on a wall, but is a real passion of mine. This is my new book and I can't seem to put it down.

Already I am 50 pages into it and I'm discovering some awesome things. One thing I found astonishing is that the most creative individuals had certain personality traits that I did not expect. A study discussed in this book looked at 3 different populations of architects. One of which were nominated by other professionals as being the most creative, those who had worked under creative architects, and a group chosen at random. They had these individuals take creativity tests and personality tests. The first group, the one's nominated by professionals, scored the highest in creativity, followed by the one's who worked under creative architects, and then the random sample. What I found the most surprising involved personality dimensions of "strong, willful, self-confident, controlling, and self-centered" were associated with the highly creative group. I consider myself creative but do not relate to these traits. The second group recieved intermediate scores but their personality traits were less dominant, highly prone to emotional conflict, a conflicting desire to control as well as be controlled, and exhibited the highest levels of anxiety. I tend to relate to this group. I didn't realize how much self-confidence and self-centeredness would be related to creativity. But really, I guess going against the mainstream would require a great deal of confidence. To go with such divergent thoughts confidently would probably require a certain amount self-centeredness.  I'm already fascinated with this book and I'm only 1 chapter in. 

I probably like you too much

So when I first met you, I was probably faced with this dilemma.  

I have a problem with moderation.

 

And if you're reading this, you are probably one of the ones I like too much.  

 I have a problems of extremes.  I seem to become obsessed with things.  

So if I liked you - I probably wanted to do this to you.

 

And because I'm awkward, anytime you feel sad I will want to do this.

 

I often compare my affection for people as an excited Labrador puppy.   I get so excited when I like someone that I will leave my trail of slobber on their pants.  In doing this I am saying in a cute puppy voice, "please love me back, oh please, oh please!"    And if they demonstrate even one ounce of reciprocating eagerness I will I love them so much that I will practically hump their leg in giddy elation.

Food

Food is so very embedded in our culture as something to both love and loathe.  Being an individual who lost a great deal of weight, I am often confronted with this dichotomy.  Do I try to eat "healthy" foods while avoiding the "unhealthy" ones?  Or do I simply try to achieve a balance and never label anything as bad or good?  I strive for the latter but am often confronted with guilt and trying to separate emotion from my food choices.  I am bombarded by the "health culture" that surrounds diet websites and the norm to hate yourself because you may have some squish. 

 On that note, I made pizza last night and this is how I feel about eating my pizza

This blog

I am starting this blog as a way to actually put some of my thoughts out there, for anyone who may want to read them.  The picture above was labelled, "inner growth."  That's why I'm starting this.  I am constantly attempting to go forward, to grow, to learn, and become my anticipated future self.  I started this blog in order to write down and actually allow some visibility to those around me, unlike a private journal or diary.  So if you do get to read this, hello and welcome to my inner random world.  I hope you enjoy it.